he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
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