we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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