Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
