So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
