i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
