she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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