I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
