I'm eating all of the evidence.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Semen is not good for contacts.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
We need a shit load of segways right now
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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