I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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