I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
