so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
