Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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