whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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