i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Randomize
