He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
