I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
