its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize