im drinking this country out of the recession.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
