I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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