So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
