Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
no you cant smoke seaweed
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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