So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
only you would photoshop your dick
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
