A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
