i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
