you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Randomize
