Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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