Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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