Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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