I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
