I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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