If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
and you said cock pushups were impossible
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
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