My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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