of course. lets lasso hookers.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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