At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Just high enough for therapy.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
