dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
It's just like the Real World with babies
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize