I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
