I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
