Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
