So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
