just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
