My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
