Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
True college students do jello shots in the library
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
