I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
