i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
The dick lei will go down in squad history
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
