I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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