Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
