My nipple is on Facebook.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
