i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
