So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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