So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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