Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
