they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
