so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
