my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
