i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
