I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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