im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
