I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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