What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
