this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
