There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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