they need to just BURY HIM!
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
