it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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