I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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