Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
