id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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