I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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