I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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