grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
