i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
